Diva Rules 2010

Diva Rules 2010

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

True Expression Tuesdays: Throwback Joint ~NSYNC, I Want You Back~

I'm on sky high right now and counting down the time until my departure to Florida (9 hrs and counting)for a little holiday fun with the family.  My day started off great when I stepped into the car and turned on 106.1 and heard an old favorite of mine.  Hopefully it makes you smile like I did. (PS stop pretending like you did not bop to this song when it came out)

Have a great day...Talk to you from Miami!!!!




Saturday, November 20, 2010

Sunday Spark! Getting in the Spirit....

LOL longtime coming...
What a whirlwind this past week has been for me!!!! It's great to sit here and attempt to give a little inspiration to set forth the week.


This week is especially meaningful to me, being that my father passed away around this time 4 years ago, and what better time do I need (& thankful for) my immediate family than Thanksgiving!!! (I am sooo ready to be with them) 
Within the past 2 years I have notice within myself that this time of year my emotions are up & down, sort of bittersweet...being anxious & excited for the Holiday but still experiencing signs of grief..


When the times get tough and inspiration is hard to come by where do we find it? When life hits'- Is it easier to just stand there and take the punch?! Yes, it is but that will not do us any good. 


"As I grow older part of my emotional survival plan must be to actively seek inspiration instead of passively waiting for it to find me.” Bebe Moore Campbell

This quote from Ms. Campbell speaks to a lot of us who can get a little down, and may find it difficult to get that comforting  feeling inside when trying to maintain (survive). When times get difficult D.I.VA.'s try to look from within to find that extra boost you need for motivation--I know it's not easy, but inspiration can come from anywhere around us if we make ourselves more aware of our surroundings--while exercising reading a book, magazine, blog (wink*), or something we heard or saw from our family members or close friends and through prayer/meditation....

You Try:
**When it's hard to get going practice listening to yourself (mind, body and soul) to find that motivation to get through when feeling like you're on your last life**


Friday, November 19, 2010

Fierce Fridays ~featuring~ Stephanie Rogers: Changing Bad Habits

Hey D.I.V.A's let's welcome Ms. Rogers Back, Ms. Fierce herself as she shares some more wisdom.

Everyone has things in their life that they need to improve, some of us have major issues and some of us just have a few annoying habits.  On your quest to be a D.I.V.A. you need to work on these habits and here are a few tips to help you on your way.

1. Decide how serious you are about breaking the habit. In addition to a strong commitment, you'll need time and energy to pay attention to your behavior so that you can change it.

2. Keep track of when you do the behavior. Keep a notepad or journal handy.

3. Write down when it happens (what is the situation) and what you were thinking and feeling. Writing increases your awareness of when and why you have this habit.

4. Read and think about what you write down. What does this habit do for you? Is it a way to deal with feelings of boredom, anxiety, stress, anger?

5. Think of what you could do instead of the habit that would be a more positive way to deal with the feelings or situation. Write down some simple alternative behaviors that you could do instead. Pick one you want to practice.

6. Try to catch yourself when you find yourself doing the habit and stop yourself as soon as you can. Start the alternative behavior you decided you wanted to do instead.

7. Aim to do this once a week and increase the number of times per week over time. The more you practice a new behavior, the more it becomes the new *good* habit.

8. Get support from others by letting them know you are working on the habit and telling them what they can do to help.
The bottom line is this: being a true diva starts from within and breaking bad habits is an easy way to help you feel good about yourself-so start there! Always stay true to yourself and make yourself feel good about who you are and what you represent. Never underestimate the power of change!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Think About it Thursdays: 8 Lessons I Learned This Week

8 Lessons I Learned This Week
~Jade~
  1. What Being in love feels like
  2. Life is too short to waste
  3. Ill wishes are unneccesary because Karma is a...
  4. Age is not synonymous with class
  5. It could always be worse
  6. Its imperative to learn how to say NO
  7. Do what you love, love what you do
  8. I got this!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Countdown to 2011 "Get it Tight Before Midnight" Fitness Challenge: Part 2-Diet for Life

Hey D.I.V.As time to move on to Part 2 of the challenege!  These next two weeks we will focus on diet.  I know you are probably thinking, "she waits until Thanksgiving to talk about a diet?".  But what better time to talk about diet.

While working out is going to be critical to getting in shape, it is your diet that is going to be the key in getting and keeping you healthy.  Changing the way you eat is the hardest thing to do.  The key to this is being realistic.  Diets that I have tried before bordered on extreme.  No salt, no sugar, no dairy, no cheating.  This may be easy for you, but not for me.  I had to accept that I looove the taste of good food and unfortunately I haven’t found any sans salt and sugar.  So this time around I am making some minor adjustments.  For those of you who want to try the more extreme approach let me know and I will be more than happy to share that information with you. 

"Remember this is a way of life, not a diet"
Let’s Get Started!!!!
Myth1:  Eating healthy means having 3 square meals a day, filled with protein, carbs, and veggies
Fact:  It is better to eat 5-6 small meals a every 3-4 hours throughout day that contain about 30% protein, 30% fat, and 40% carbs that are high in fiber. (this ratio may fluctuate based on your physical needs).
Myth2: A diet filled with “diet” shakes and instant meals will get you healthy quickly.
Fact:  Instant meals may help you to lose weight, however many of these meals are over processed and laden with salt, therefore not healthy for you.
Myth3:  Skipping meals or eating one time a day will help me lose weight
Fact:  Wrong!  Eating less than 1200 calories enters your body into starvation mode.  At this point your metabolism slows down, storing instead of burning fat and calories, and you begin to lose muscle mass.  According to Bob Harper, most people lose weight quickly by eating between 1500 to 1800 calories.  
Utilizing the calorie guide below, plan out your meals and eating times for tomorrow.   I have included some additional food suggestions to get you going.  If you are feeling ambitious, feel free to plan for the remainder of the week.  The key is to stay within your caloric goal and stick to the plan. Don’t forget to treat yourself to something daily.  No not a brownie ice-cream sundae, but a snack no more than 180 calories.  If you would like some additional help with planning your meals or figuring out which caloric intake is right for you and your goals, contact me and I will be happy to help you out as best I can.  Good luck D.I.V.A.’s!!!!!!!
Bob Harper’s Simple Calorie Guide to Foods
Food Group
Foods
Portion Size
Calorie Per Serving
Protein
Lean meat, poultry, seafood, beans, eggs, nuts, tofu, protein powder, cheese, soybeans, peanut or almond butter, yogurt
2 palm-size pieces or
6 ounces cooked
110
Complex Carbohydrates
Whole grains, fruits, vegetables
2 fist-sized amounts or
2 cups cooked
50-60
Simple Carbohydrates and Sugars
White breads, cereals, sweets
1 fist-sized amount or
1 cup
80-90
Dairy
Low-fat milk, cheese, yogurt
1 fist-size amount or
1 cup
90-100
Fat
Olive oil, canola oil, nuts, butter/margarine, avocado, cream cheese, half-and-half, mayo, salad dressing, sour cream
1 teaspoon
45



Monday, November 15, 2010

Money Matters Mondays ~featuring~ Jade of D.I.V.A Rules: Ambitious Girls

While perusing the Facebook updates on my phone (admittedly a new obsession of mine), I ran across a mind boggling post.  Anyone who knows me, knows that my mouth always keeps me in trouble and in my 25th year of life I have learned to just let things go.  But I just could not let this one ride.  I tried to find the original post so that I could copy and paste verbatim, but this summary will have to do.  So this guy goes on to tell the world that instead of women complaining that there are no good black men on their economic level, that women should bow out of the job market and stay home so that men can obtain the jobs.  That because women have these positions, it is serving as competition and taking away jobs for men.  By us staying home, black men would have jobs and families would see economic gain.  Excuse me for a second as I go and throw up. 
Ok I'm back.  A woman who decides to forfeit her role in the workforce in order to stay at home with the family is not the issue here.  There are many women who have decided to do so for a variety of reasons and most of those women arguably work just as hard, if not harder than many women in the workforce.  As I said that is not the issue.  The issue is, at least from my standpoint, that it is assumed that women are the reason many black man are not gainfully employed and by being successful we are depriving men and our families from higher economic gain. 
Firstly, A diploma (preferably from some kind of higher education institution) is now a requirement in the job market of today.  With jobs being at a low and competition being at a high, the need for credentials is imperative.  Without a high school diploma you are three times more likely to be unemployed as compared to those with a college degree.   With that said, according to the Journal of Blacks in Higher Education, 38% of black men have completed a college degree as compared to 50% of black women.  Now, unless we are sabotaging the admission process and engaging in some elaborate scheme that inhibits men from graduating, I am having a hard time following his rationale.   
Secondly, I will not even go into the staggering numbers of single-parent homes in which women are the sole breadwinner.  In these cases I would argue that staying home and letting a man have the job would not evoke any kind of economic gain for the family.
Lastly, while black women are on the climb in terms of graduation rates and job entry, we are still a minority as it compares to our white male counterparts.  So while my applying to the job increases the competition pool as he eluded to, my staying out of it does nothing to guarantee him, or any other man for that matter, the job. Then where does that leave us, both broke and unemployed?  Maybe his next post should ask White men to stay home or Black men to stay in school.  Either way hunny, women are not the problem.
D.I.V.As, if there is anyone in your life who is intimidated by your success, let them go now!!!  Continue getting those degrees, making that paper, and shining like the stars you are!  See you at the top, Let's Get it!!!!! 





                                          Wale- Ambitious Girl

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Sunday Spark ~featuring~ Jade of DIVA Rules: Tell the Storm

Hello again world!  Feels good to be back on the blog.  Sometimes when it rains it pours and while it wasn’t unbearable torrential rains, it has definitely been a steady shower.  You wonder what else is going to happen and find yourself consumed with batting away the daily nuances and dramas.  If allowed it can suffocate you making it almost impossible to breathe let alone be productive.  So on Thursday night, everything reached its climax, and I sat down on the couch and had a beautiful dinner date just me, the TV, and 2 bowls of ice-cream cake (Every calorie was well worth it). By 11pm, I was in bed and ready to start all over on Friday. 
I got in my car and began my morning commute and that when Blessed and Highly Favored came on by the Clark Sisters.  So as I listened to the song, I realized that I had allowed these trials to push my faith in God and I had forgotten to lift it all up to him.  So, I turned the song up and just lifted my hands up and felt the stress escape me.  I had to let go and let God.  I needed to restore my faith and trust in Him and remind myself that he has never failed me yet, so stop worrying Jade.  Now I’m back, stronger than ever.  Additionally, my computer is now fixed, Wi-Fi is kicking, and as far as the other issues, I have put it in His hands. 
There are days that you are going to be tested by something.  Just know that you are never alone.   
“Death can't shake me!
Job can't make me!
Bills can't break me!
You can't drown me!
Cause my Gods surrounds me!
That's what I told the storm”
I Told The Storm-  Greg O’Quin ‘N Joyful Noize

Saturday, November 6, 2010

FOR All the GIRLS (DIVAs)...TO SEE!!!!!!

Happy Sunday DIVAs'.....As we are continuing to "get it tight" for New Year's 2011, I hope you have time to take a much needed R&R and check out Tyler Perry's cinematic debut of Ntozake Shange's dramatic play/choreopoem of " For Colored Girls who have considered Suicide when the Rainbow is Enuf".
I wanted to read the the choreopoem novel before I saw the movie, being that I was not fortunate enough to be (born) around to see the performance live when it was on theater... & I have to say that Mr. Perry has done Ntozake Shange's literary work due justice! The themes being portrayed in this movie will bring about feelings that may be discomfort for some of us and a sense of consciousness. But please keep in mind that much of the content featured was, and still is prevalent within our communities. It is great that such  ugly issues can be brought to life in beautiful art form.


DIVAs' (& SIRs') this is such a POWERFUL, RIVETING, AND EXTRAORDINARY piece of literature! The movie and choreopoem novel, respectively display a harsh account of 8 women (particularly women of color) and there struggles of facing their reality and their resilience to conquer it. Though it may seem that there are strong negative views of men being the "wrath" of their troubles, if you view/read this movie/novel deeper you see that there is a higher calling of INDEPENDENCE, ACCOUNTABILITY, AND EMPOWERMENT(for these women) through the midst of the "Storm" to see the Rainbow".

How did you take this film? What did you feel/think when viewing/reading "For Colored Girls...?"

   



I must put a disclaimer that for those who did not see read the choreopem novel or seen the play, this movie delivers strong themes that are explicit in sexual manner and mature adult content, viewer discretion is advised.